The lull before a new expansion brings burnout, harder and faster than most people have ever experienced it. The combination of that and summer often leave holes in your guild's plans to progress. Despite whatever buff Blizzard decides to give us so that everyone has a chance at the Lich King, some people still can't make the stretch. I have two well geared characters and a third that's not far from it. I'm willing and able to fill any role in a raid to a degree, though I clearly have my preferences. I've seen all the content up to and including the Lich King in 10 man and all the way to Sindragosa in 25. I've even got a few heroic kills under my belt. So why don't I have a Kingslayer title?
I assure you it is not because of lack of effort on my part. I've done my best to fill in the gaps where my team and guild needed it. Even if I have alt ADD, I'll still play what the team needs, even if it's not what I want to play. Sometimes I'll ask to play what I like instead, and if I get shot down, I'll suck it up and do what's needed. I have lost my temper a number of times to friends and colleagues about the underhanded bullshit, but I'd like to think I've remained pretty professional on the outward front. I didn't learn to play my classes just from fucking around with buttons. I researched, I spent hours reading blogs and guides, smacking training dummies, picking the brains of my betters. When I did something wrong, I owned up to it and I learned from it. I'd like to think I was rewarded the gear that I have because I did well, not because it was handed to me. Those who have helped me have been helped in return. But where has all this left me?
Miserable. Despising the very thing that is supposed to get my mind off more important real life issues. Finding reasons to stay on the good days, and hating myself for it on the bad ones. Let's discuss some of the issues, shall we?
Being a raid leader is no small task. I've done it before and I almost talked myself into doing it again. However, by some act of God, it didn't happen and I'm better off for it. But that does not mean the people doing it are well suited. Being a raid leader takes a certain amount of effort and pain. There's required organization, sincerity, motivation, leadership, and drive. You have to be willing to help out your members, not because you like them or they're your friends, but because you're part of a team. When you blatantly ignore the requests of one person because this person's your buddy, then you're fucking yourself over. When you don't call bullshit because you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, you're fucking yourself over. When you're not willing to bend the rules for the good of your team, you're fucking yourself over. Don't be surprised when things fall apart.
I also understand that people get bored or frustrated with their class and need the new to keep themselves from going nuts. That's perfectly fine. Everyone deserves to have a chance to change. But that doesn't mean you should leave your geared character off to the side and trade it in for an under-geared POS and expect things to be given to you and not to be held responsible for the failings just because "it's fun to try something new lolz." Especially when you were only mediocre at what you did before and you're not even mediocre at what you do now. But since no one's calling you out and you're feelin like getting some mad purpz, you don't feel the need to stop. What's life like as a spoiled princess anyway? What happens when your tower walls start to crumble and everyone gets tired of your bullshit?
People tell me to take a break. I took a break and it didn't help. Then quit your guild or your raid they say. Change is too scary for 9 or 25 other people to contemplate. What happens when there are those few that you don't want to leave behind? I did it before and ended up coming back just for those select few, and I don't regret that. Where do you draw the line between pointless addiction and a game? If I admit I'm doing this to myself, does that make me a masachist? At what point did Hope become so Hopeless?